A Practicing Feminist’s Opinions on Equality: (Why is this unpopular? Because even though there are actual feminist organizations trying to do some good, most ‘feminists’ on the internet don’t seem to get the idea.)
-If you’re on a date, whoever decided the place pays. Restaurant, amusement park, movie, it doesn’t matter. -It is in no way emasculating to get asked out by a girl. And it’s pretty fun for us girls to take you on dates. We like it. So come along and have fun with us. You can pick the date next time.
-See a woman getting on a bus? Is she pregnant? Disabled? Sick? No? Then sit your butt back down and stop motioning for her to take your seat. She doesn’t need it. -Don’t tell your boyfriend/husband to ‘fulfill his purpose’ and fix your car. Learn how to fix your own car. He’s not a servant.
-Don’t tell your girlfriend/wife to make you a sandwich. Ever. Anyone with two hands and a brain can make a sandwich. If you fit those requirements, make your own damn sandwich. And don’t comment ‘get back to the kitchen’ on photos or memes of girls online. It doesn’t make you cool. It makes me cringe of second-hand embarrassment. I am legitimately embarrassed that you haven’t managed to drag your butt out of the nineteenth century. Don’t do this to me.
-Maternity leave = Paternity leave. Give the dads some time off to spend with their toddlers, companies, please. I think that if more people paid attention to paternity leave, many fathers wouldn’t feel so alienated from their families.
-If a girl says she doesn’t want kids, leave her alone. Not all women have the urge to bring up kids. I don’t. I like kids, and I’m pretty good with them. I know how to change diapers, babysit, and I’ve trained in basic child psychology in order to get that babysitting license in my country (where babysitters get paid a ridiculous amount of money that we can literally pay our university tuition with). All of this experience in total has convinced me that having a kid is not for me. So if a girl says she never wants kids even after she’s married and you knew this before marrying her, hold onto your condoms.
-All guys should learn the basics of cooking. This will prevent ‘bachelor’s syndrome’ and you won’t need to leech off a girlfriend. In fact, everyone should learn how to cook enough for themselves. Maybe then we would have this ‘kitchen’ stigma.
-(This one is a personal opinion) Rape is a horrible, horrible thing. It can happen to men and women alike. But you know what’s worse? Being murdered. Some of my friends have confessed that they would rather be killed than raped, and I understand the sentiment, but no. Your life is more important than your virginity.
-This is for all future couples, and the to-be-wives in particular: please just register your marriage and have a small party if you wish, instead of trying to adhere to a whole bunch of archaic (and not-so-subtly sexist) traditions. I’m Indian (as in, from India, not native american), and I’ve heard a lot about various marriage traditions around the world. There is in particular a middle-eastern tradition where the bride’s hand is gently guided by her bridesmaids to throw fruit at the groom (to show that ‘the worst thing we’ll ever hurt each other with will still be sweet). As in, she’s expected to be so delicate that she can’t throw her own damn fruit.
And after the wedding the groom has to go ‘persuade’ the bridesmaids to hand over the bride, usually using money.
…what the hell is this? Can we all please stop? Isn’t this embarrassing? Not only can’t this poor girl act tough enough to throw fruit at her husband, but she must be demure and ‘bought’ by him because she’s too shy to go to him on her own. Why, people, why? I get that these are leftover traditions from the time when women were actually expected to be demure like this, but haven’t we gotten over it by now?
Anyway, that was my collection of opinions. I’m not involved in feminist organizations but many of the people I look up to are feminists (like Ayaan Hirsi Ali. I don’t agree with everything she says, but I think she’s a good role model), and I like to think I encourage people to live equality instead of just talking about it.
So exactly how unpopular is this? I’m new to tumblr, but all this ‘tumblr feminism’ stuff is not appealing to me. I understand that to reverse a paradigm, sometimes the opposite stance must be taken, but there’s been enough male-shaming and weird female-shaming going around already.